Severe Depression

PLEASE NOTE: THIS JOURNAL IS NOT POSTED FOR SYMPATHY AS IT MAY BE EASY TO JUMP TO THAT CONCLUSION. I AM NOT ASKING FOR ANYONES SYMPATHY, JUST FOR PEOPLE TO BE AWARE AND NOT TO JUDGE ME BECAUSE OF IT. IT HAS NOT ONCE AND NEVER WILL EFFECT MY PERFORMANCE AS A MODEL.

Basically I just wanted to post this journal to make everyone aware of something that I'm currently dealing with and have dealt with in the past. I feel like it's a thing I need to bring to the table from recent things that have been coming up in my life surrounding this subject

It's something that I'm normally very reluctant to tell people especially photographers as I worry that they will decide to not work with me because of it, I will just quickly stress that my conditions will not and have never effected my performance as a model, I just believe it's something for people who know me to be aware about and at the same time just generally putting awareness of depression out there, as I've recently discovered that a lot of people don't understand or take it seriously.

I'll try and keep it quick but I just want people to be aware of this.

I was diagnosed with Severe Depression and Anxiety when I was in year 7 after my grandfather died and my best friend at the time a week later. I had a terrible time dealing with it and after 2 years I finally managed to pull myself out of it.

But due to the recent stress of looking for a job, being completely broke, having trouble getting to shoots because of this, and millions of other problems that I won't go into, I've managed to slip back into this depressive state. It has developed only over the past 2 months but it's at the point where I've never been so bad before and are resorting to some VERY stupid things that my brain refuses to see past when I have an overwhelming feeling of depression.
To other people in life these things may not stress them in the least but because of the chemical imbalance in my brain I have trouble seeing past these things and are naturally negative.

So I just basically wanted people I'm working with or have worked with or are going to work with in the future to know this, it never effects my performance as a model, I must stress that, but mainly as far as shoots go I feel it will be best to keep them to a minimum until I've managed to get my mental state back on track, I am seeing someone and hopefully I'll be able to pull myself out of this like I did last time.

Feel free to still contact me if you are willing to shoot, I will be able to let you know straight away if I will be able to make it or not, and if not I'm happy to organise a date where I will be able.

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I hope everyone understands this and doesn't think I'm some crazy lady seeking attention, that's something I've never ever wanted from this condition and don't believe I should be given sympathy for something that I'm born with, something that a lot of other people deal with everyday, a lot of the time much, much worse than I'm having to deal with.

If you managed to read this far, thank you and I really appreciate you taking the time out to read my babbling.

Until next time,

Millie

You can contact me at: missmillieclaire@live.com.au
www.modelmayehm.com/missmillieclaire
www.myspace.com/beginshere
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